Software dev, tech, mind hacks and the occasional personal bit

Category: Soft Skills and Mind Hacks Page 1 of 3

“4,000 Weeks” by Oliver Burkeman

When I heard about this book, I was intrigued by the idea of a time management book more about your lifetime rather than getting things done. I was not disappointed. Here are the take-aways I found the most interesting.

  • Often, you’re looking at your phone to escape an uncomfortable/boring situation.
  • If you focus totally on the current uncomfortable situation (accept you are there, and life is full of uncomfortable situations, rather than trying to escape) it will become bearable. As finite humans, we don’t get to dictate the course of events.
  • Having tricky problems means you’re alive, it’s the normal state. Life “is a process of engaging with problem after problem, giving each one the time it requires … the presence of problems in your life isn’t an impediment to a meaningful existence but the substance of one.”
  • Don’t wait for some future perfection when you get X, Y or Z or on top of things. There is always more to do, and things are always broken, and there will always be far more to do than you have time for. It is fine to neglect many things. Resign yourself to this finite reality. Serially choose one or a few things to focus on.
  • “Pay yourself first” – do what you really want to do first with your time each day, the rest will work out. Otherwise there won’t be time for what you want to do after doing the rest.
  • You don’t have time, your life is made up of time, “you are time”.
  • Making a decision/choice is liberating as then there is only one path forward. It is an affirmation – ie, you’ve chosen how to spend your time (no matter if it is earning money to support your family, playing with the kids, buying a house, or going hiking).
  • Don’t go with most comfortable option, think which grow or diminish you as a person.
  • If you want to feel like life is not going so fast as you get older, do more new things rather than follow routine – explore somewhere new, take a different route to work, take up a new hobby, etc.
  • “Attention is the beginning of devotion… you can’t truly love a partner or a child, dedicate yourself to a career or to a cause – or just savour the pleasure of a stroll in the park – except to the extent that you can hold your attention on the object of your devotion to being with.” — Mary Oliver
  • Notice you are already living in the moment anyway, like it or not. Trying self-consciously to “live in the moment” will fail.
  • Moments of bliss: enjoy a hobby where time passes without you noticing and you have no hope of achieving acclaim or profit. Freedom to pursue something you enjoy for no other reason.
  • Herzen: “Because children grow up, we think a child’s purpose is to grow up… but a child’s purpose is to be a child. Nature doesn’t disdain what only lives for a day… Life’s bounty is in its flow. Later is too late”.
  • Refuse to hold yourself to “an abstract and over-demanding standard of remarkableness.. drop back from godlike fantasies of cosmic significance into the experience of life as it concretely and finitely – and often enough, marvellously – really is.”
  • “No matter how much you plan or fret.. you can’t know that things will turn out all right” – there’s no real certainty so stop trying to manufature it.
  • A plan is “an expression of your current thoughts about how you’d ideally like to deploy your modest influence over the future. The future, of course, is under no obligation to comply”. Wonder what will happen next, rather than demand it to be as you want it to be.
  • You coming into existence at all, and most of your life is a highly unlikely series of events of which you had no control. So relax 🙂
  • You can put things in place to increase the chances of a happy outcome.. but there is no certainty in anything, or that things will turn out as you predicted.
  • When the uncontrollable future arrives we’ll have what it takes – we’ve got this far!
  • So “I don’t mind what happens.”

“How to Stop Worrying and Start Living” by Dale Carnegie

As a long-time fan of How to Win Friends and Influence People, I was excited read this book. Especially the early sections I found very interesting and useful. Some of the later sections feel dated and less relevant. The ideas I found most useful were:

  • If you are worried about something, write out:
    1. What am I worrying about?
    2. What is the worst that can possibly happen?
    3. [Accept it and imagine it happening.]
    4. What can I do about it?
    5. [Then do something about it right away.]
  • “When I am up against a tough situation, if I can do anything about it, I do it. If I can’t, I just forget it. I never worry about the future, because I know no man living can possibly figure out what is going to happen in the future.”
  • Check the facts, and come to a decision, then stick to it unless new facts come to light.
  • “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; the courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference.”
  • “Instead of worrying about ingratitude, let’s expect it.. the only way to find happiness is not to expect gratitude, but to give for the joy of giving.”
  • “Count your blessings, not your troubles!” — find out what is good in your present situation.
  • “Happiness is not mostly pleasure; it is mostly victory.”
  • “The really important thing is to profit from your losses. That requires intelligence.”
  • Do a good deed every day – ie, one that brings a smile of joy on the face of another.
  • Unjust criticism? Just laugh.
  • Ask for advice: “Won’t you please tell me what I did that was wrong when I tried to do XYZ? You are far more experienced and successful than I am. Please give me your criticism. Be frank. Don’t pull your punches.”
  • According to Henry Ford, how to increase energy and endurance: “I never stand up when I can sit down; and I never sit down when I can lie down”.
  • Relax muscles of face and eyes, relax the tension in your body (do it often) to have more energy.
  • Laugh at your sillier worries, you can laugh them out of existence.

“Authentic Gravitas” by Rebecca Newton

I read this book a while back and have been meaning to write about it. I found it contained some interesting points, especially on being intentional (and comparing your actual impact with what you were aiming for) and working appropriately with different communication styles/personalities.

Here’s my favourite parts:

  • “The reality is, we all have a gap between our intention, our action, and our actual impact. To have gravitas, be clear about your convictions (what really matters in a given situation), be clear about your intention (how you want to show up and impact the situation and the people in it), be disciplined in checking that your impact is lining up with your intention (through your own observations and seeking feedback), and be committed to continually adapting your style.”
  • “On being intentional, ask yourself, What footprint do I want to leave very day? How would I want other people to describe me?
  • “People who are regarded as having high levels of authentic gravitas may look confident, but actually they are choose to be courageous.” “They feel fear and do it anyway. They choose courage.”
  • Ask more open questions in meetings to find out what is actually driving the other person’s thinking and decision-making. Eg, “What are you excited about right now”, “What’s your biggest concern?”, “What matters most to you at the moment?”, “How do you feel about what’s happening?”, “What is the main thing stopping you from making progress?”, “What are the forces at play in this issue?”.
  • If people ask for help, give them your full attention or ask them to come back later. Eg, “Yes, I’ve got 10 minutes – will that work?” “Or we can have a longer chat later today at 2pm?”
  • Script the opening of a talk carefully to engage and hold the room – verbally and nonverbally – from the outset before rushing into the details. Eg, open with “Thank you Angela. [pause] Good morning, all. It’s great to have you with us today. It’s a critical time in our industry. We’re currently facing uncertain market conditions, unexpected legislative changes and rapid technological development. Navigating this environment seems more challenging than ever. I’d like to share with you…”. Script the finish also. The middle can be looser. Telling personal stories helps connect with the audience.
  • IMPACT preparation for a meeting: What do you believe about this situation/possibility? What do you want them (the people you engage with) to think, feel and potentially act differently as a result of this encounter with you? What is motivating them (acquire, bond, comprehend, or defend)? What is their perception of this situation and of you right now (and what do you want it to be)? If nothing else, what would you want them to remember and pass on (max 3)? How should you open and close? What stories would be relevant and support your message? And finally, think about your technique.
  • Avoid the “face freeze”: Put your hands into fists and roll your knuckles in circles around and around in your cheeks. It loosens your face and you become more conscious of your facial muscles, enabling you to feel the tension in them and make the choice to relax them.
  • Even if people don’t give you positive non-verbal/verbal affirmation, “Choose to give everyone equal energy and attention.. [remember they have a gap between intention and impact too]”. With big audience, look at a back corner of the room and slowly use your eyes to follow an “S” pattern down through the group to the front row. After a minute, go back up to the opposite corner and find down again following an inverted “S”. In a small meeting, be mindful from the outset of your decision to give everyone eye contact.
  • Opportunity mind-set rather than a threat mind-set. You’re most likely nervous because this situation matters. And it matters because it’s an opportunity that could lead to positive outcomes. Don’t get anxious, get excited!
  • “When working with people who tend to be optimistic and big-picture oriented, it’s important to respond with energy if they are sharing an idea. Explain why you like the ideas (be authentic and only communicate what you genuinely feel positively about), or comment on how much work they’ve clearly put into it, or the interesting nature of the project or topic. And share that with energy.. not over the top.. but at least some energy.” Immediately critiquing a new idea will deflate them and close their ears. Instead, after initial positively, ask something like “Would it help if I went through the technical details and came up with a list of things for us to look at? I want to make sure it’s all smooth when you take it to market.”
  • Prepare a short causal response to the “How are you?” type question in case of casual coffee machine conversations at work. Eg, “Oh, hi Chip. I’m well thanks. We’re busy with a new project around sustainability. We think this can really drive some positive change. We’re seeing a lot of interest from clients. How are things with you?”. Make brief encounters matter.
  • Remember the wide variety of influencing techniques available: rational persuasion, legitimating (because X says so), favours and exchange (Can I ask you a favour?), inspirational appeals (emotions and values), ingratiation (I don’t how to do it!! reply: I know you can. You you’ll be good at this because [reasons why]) and consulting (ask their help/feedback to increase buy-in).

Lockdown with Kids – Take 2

It’s coming up to the second month of lockdown in Sydney with my energetic primary school age sons and lovely (and patient) wife. Since this is the second time around, I thought I’d share some ideas which we have been using which have worked for us. Your mileage my vary!

First of all, let us reframe the lockdown as an epic cruise through space-time, towards normal life.

With this framing in mind, think about the entertainments and events and plan for a long voyage on a ship, to stave off boredom and keep the crew happy and productive.

  • Decide and family routine together and publish it on the fridge. Stick to it to give structure to the day. Make sure it includes recess and lunch similar to school – these are also when the family gets together from their separate activities during the work/school day.
  • Have a guessing competition on the number of covid cases for the day (new cases & number in community) and a prize draw at recess (eg, a chocolate for the winner). Everyone records their guess at breakfast.
  • Make use of every room in the house, balconies, porches, gardens etc to give more opportunity for privacy and space.
  • Celebrate the end of the work/school week by ordering delivery food for dinner on Friday. This delineates the week from the weekend, and gives parents a break from cooking and everyone something to look forward to.
  • Have international food nights once a week: choose a few countries for the first few, then when you run out, play pin the tail on the country with a map! Research the food, order appropriate ingredients and cook. Dress up if you feel like it. Make it a highlight of the week.
  • Family kareoke nights if that’s your thing. I think dancing could work too though we haven’t tried it yet.
  • Get kids involved in cooking whenever you can, they love it and learn too.
  • Get lots of outdoor activity gear such as basket ball hoops, soccer balls, pull up bars, bikes, kites, etc to provide variety.
  • Exercise every day to get out the the house (and usual exercise benefits). Choose a mix of quiet activity by yourself to get some space (eg, running) and with kids (eg, bicycling) and go with what you feel like on the day. Calisthenics is good in a park where kids can play while you work out.
  • Make computer game playing time for kids a currency that they earn. For example, our kids earn:
    • 50% of the time they spend on extra study outside of school for game playing.
    • I review their school work at the end of the day and award game time based on amount and quality of work they have done during the day (in range 15 min – 1 hour).
    • Chores like taking out the garbage/compost earn 5 minutes.
    • Repeatedly doing something we’ve asked them not to do (or not doing something they are meant to do) leads to a fine of 1 or 5 minutes of game time.
    • Ask kids to do a written accounting of their time before they use their game time, to check the amount of time and to give them practice presenting tabular data and doing calculations.
  • Remember that work done at home by the kids for home schooling does not need to be perfect and fixed by parents before submission. The teacher can correct kids’ work during the day. Sure, there are times when the boys need help, and that is OK too, but you don’t need to sit with them every minute. Home schooling does give you the possibility of getting more involved yourself, but I like to have the boys work as independently as possible during the day and go over things with them after school “finishes”. This also allows me to get more of my work done during the day.
  • For school work, if possible, ensure each child has their own device with a camera for submitting hand-written work, to avoid having lots of logging in and out to switch accounts, and fights over the device.
  • Make an effort to stay in touch with friends via video calls (at least one call a week).
  • Get good noise cancellation headphones for when you are working. For me this is vital.

I hope you find some of these ideas useful as we cruise on towards freedom.

“Selling the Invisible” by Harry Beckwith

Billed as “a field guide to modern marketing”, I found this book a highly interesting read, especially the second half. It is a guide to marketing services (“the invisible”). Some of the stand outs points for me were:

  • “Forget looking like the superior choice. Make yourself an excellent choice. Then eliminate anything that might make you a bad choice.” Ie, address any risks in peoples’ minds, rather than trying to show you are better than all other options. It is very hard to tell if a service was the best, but it is easy to tell if it was bad. Eliminate the fear.
  • “Setting your price is like setting a screw. A little resistance is a good sign.” Beckwith argues that 10% of people will always complain about the price. Resistance in about 10% more (total 20%) is about right. “When it [resistance] starts exceeding 25%, scale back.”
  • Often you are competing against apathy (doing nothing) or the person themselves doing the work.. not another firm.
  • “Don’t assume that logical pricing is smart pricing. Maybe your price, which makes you like like a good value, actually makes you look second-rate”.
  • “The premium service and the low-cost provider occupy nice niches all by themselves. If you are priced in between, however, you are competing with almost everyone”.
  • “Don’t start by positioning your service. Instead leverage the position you have.” eg, Avis ads repeated for years “We’re Number Two. We try harder.”
  • “In positioning, don’t try to hide your small size. Make it work by stressing its advantages, such as responsiveness and individual attention.”
  • “If you’re selling a service, you’re selling a relationship.. before you try to satisfy ‘the client’, understand and satisfy the person.. In large part, service marketing is a popularity content.. be personable.”
  • “A brand is more than a symbol. In the public’s eye, a brand is a warranty. It is a promise that the service carrying that brand will live up to its name, and perform.. a service is a promise, and building a brand builds your promise.. Invest in and religiously preach integrity. It is the heart of your brand… Brands are decision-making shortcuts [for busy people].. Make selling easier, faster and cheaper. Build a brand… A brand is money.”
  • “Selling a service involved personal risks [rejection etc].. risk yourself.”
  • “Saying many things usually communicates nothing.. Meet your market’s very first need: Give it one good reason… After you say one thing, repeat it again and again. Watch and perfect the visual clues you send.. repeat yourself visually, too.. Give your marketing a human face.”
  • Be genuine and honest, show your passion.
  • “Take advantage of the Recency Effect. Follow up brilliantly.”
  • “Execute passionately. Marginal tactics executed passionately almost always will outperform brilliant tactics executed marginally.”
  • “Above all, sell hope.”
  • “Your parents were right. Say thank you. Often.”

“The Magic of Thinking Big” by David Schwartz

You might think that a book first published in 1959 would be hopelessly dated. But no, “The Magic of Thinking Big” I found an interesting and inspiring read, with most outdated bits easily applicable to more modern parallels (or ignored if too cringeworthy :-). Most chapters have an explanation, supporting stories and clear actions. It’s pretty quick reading as a result, but worth going back over some of the actions more carefully. It is almost funny in parts with how hard the author pushes his points, and full of great anecdotes.

OK, so what is the book about? I’m going to give you some of my favourite bits.

It’s a fine day, and I will succeed

Production in your thought factory is under the charge of two foremen, one of whom we will call Mr Triumph, and the other Mr Defeat. Mr Triumph is in charge of manufacturing positive thoughts. He specializes in producing reasons why you can, why you're qualified, why you will... Mr Defeat produces negative, deprecating thoughts. He is your expert on developing reasons why you can't why you're weak, ...Tell yourself 'Today is a lousy day.'. This signals Mr Defeat into action, and he manufactures some facts to prove you are right.. Mr Defeat is tremendously efficient. In just a few moments, he's got you sold. It is a bad day. 

But tell yourself 'Today is a fine day' and Mr Triumph is signalled forward to act. He tells you 'This is a wonderful day'.. and then it is a good day'. Mr Defeat will convince you that you will fail, while Mr Triumph will demonstrate why you will succeed... 

Now; the more work you give either of these two foremen, the stronger he becomes. If Mr Defeat is given more work to do, he adds personnel and takes up more space in your mind. Eventually, he will take over the entire thought-manufacturing division, and virtually all thought will be of a negative nature. The only wise thing to do is fire Mr Defeat. You don't want him around telling you that you can't you're not up to it, you'll fail and so on... Use Mr Triumph 100% of the time. When any thought enters your mind, ask Mr Triumph to go to work for you. He'll show you how you can succeed...

Let the master thought 'I will succeed' dominate your thinking process. Thinking success conditions your mind to create plans that produce success. Thinking failure does the exact opposite.

Kicking health excusitis

'Bad' health, in a thousand different forms, is used as an excuse for failing to do what a person wants to do, ... failing to achieve success... Looking and looking and looking for an illness often actually produces illness... 

One fellow [with a mild case of diabetes]... belongs to that fraternity of the living dead. Obsessed with a fear of the weather, he is usually ridiculously bundled up. He's afraid of infection, so he shuns anybody who has the slightest sniffle. He's afraid of overexertion, so he does almost nothing. He spends most of his mental energy worry about what might happen. He bores other people telling them "how awful" his problem really is... the other extreme .. he has a severe case, .. but he is not living to be sick. He is living to enjoy his work and have fun. One day he said to me, 'Sure it is an inconvenience, but so is shaving. But I'm not going to think myself to bed. When I take those shots, I just praise the guys who discovered insulin...'

Refuse to talk about your health. The more you talk about an ailment.. the worse it seems to get. Besides, .. it bores people. Refuse to worry about your health... Just being grateful for the health you have is a powerful vaccination against developing new aches and pains and real illness.. Life is yours to enjoy. Don't waste it.


Isolate your fear. Pin it down. Determine exactly what you are afraid of. Then take action. There is some kind of action for any kind of fear. And remember, hesitation only enlarges, magnifies the fear. Take action promptly. Be decisive."

Memory management

Deposit only positive thoughts in your memory bank... everyone encounters plenty of unpleasant, .. discouraging situations.. Most individuals I try to help .. are operating in their own private museum of mental horror. A person can make a mental monster out of almost any unpleasant happening... Don't build mental monsters. Refuse to withdraw the unpleasant thoughts from your memory bank. When you remember situations of any kind, concentrate on the good parts of the experience; forget the bad. bury it. If you find yourself thinking about the negative side, turn your mind off completely.

When meeting important people

Think "We're just two important people sitting down to discuss something of mutual interest and benefit".


Use big, positive, cheerful words and phrases to describe how you feel.. to describe other people... to encourage others.. to outline plans to others. When people hear something like this: "Here is some good news. We face a genuine opportunity.." their minds start to sparkle. But when they hear something like "Whether we like it or not, we've got a job to do", the mind movie is dull and boring and they react accordingly. Promise victory and watch eyes light up. Promise victory and win support. Build castles, don't dig graves!

See what can be, not just what is

Look at things not as they are, but as they can be. Visualization adds value to everything. A big thinker always visualizes what can be done in the future. He isn't stuck with the present... Practice adding value to things, to people and to yourself.

Avoid arguments and petty frustration

Ask "Is it really important?"... "Is it important enough for me to get all worked up about?". Think above trivial things. Focus your attention on big objectives.

Thinking big examples

Views the future as limited .VS. sees the future as promising

Magnifies minor errors. Turns them into big issues .VS. ignores errors of little consequence

Looks for ways to avoid work .VS. Looks for more ways and things to do, especially helping others

Sets goals low .VS. Sets goals high


When you believe something is impossible, your mind goes to work for you to prove why. But when you believe, really believe, something can be done, your mind goes to work for you and helps you find the ways to do it.

Listening & Ideas

Big people monopolize the listening.
Small people monopolize the talking...
ask "How do you feel about it?" "What do you recommend?" "What would you do under these circumstances?"

A leader is a decision-making human machine... ideas of others help to spark your own ideas so your mind is more creative...
Be receptive to new ideas. Be experimental. Try new approaches, be progressive in everything you do... Get stimulated. Associate with people who can help you think of new ideas... mix with people of different occupational and social interests. Circulate in new groups. Discover new and stimulating things to do.

Listen and learn.


When asked, "What are you doing?", the first bricklaer replied, "Laying brick.", the second answered, "Making $9.30 an hour." And the third said, "Me? Why, I'm building the world's greatest cathedral."

Think your work is important. Think this way, and you will receive mental signals on how to do your job better. Think your work is important, and your subordinates will think their work is important too.

People you hang out with

Make your environment work for you, not against you. Don't let suppressive forces - the negative, you can't do it people - make you think defeat.

Take the initiative in building friendships. Introduce yourself to others at every opportunity. Make sure you get the other person's name straight, and make sure he gets your name straight too. Drop a personal note to your new friends you want to know better.

Accept human differences and limitations. Remember the other person has a right to be different.. and don't be a reformer [try and change people].


To activate others, you must first activate yourself. To get enthusiasm about anything - people, places, things - dig into it deeper... Just dig in deeper and you dig up interest.

In everything you do, life it up. Enthusiasm, or lack of it, shows though in everything you do and say... life up your smiles.. your thank you ... your talk.. 

Don't blame others when you receive a setback... instead of sulking or quitting in a huff, [reason] things out. Ask yourself, "What could I do to make myself deserving of the next opportunity?" Don't berate yourself. Plan to win next time.

Spread good news. Broadcasting good news activates you, makes you feel better. Broadcasting good news makes other people feel better too.

Make people feel important

Practice appreciation by letting others know how you depend on them. An earnest "Jim, I don't know what we'd do without you" type of remark.."

Practice appreciation with honest personalised compliments.. compliment people on .. big accomplishments .. [and] little things: their appearance, the way they do their routine work, their ideas, their loyal efforts.. [write] personal notes, make a special phone call or special trip to see them. 

Call people by name.. it gives everyone a boost to be addressed by name. 

Don't hog glory, invest it instead.. pass praise down on to your subordinates, where it will encourage still greater performance. When you share praise, your subordinates know you sincerely appreciate their value. 

Grow the "service first" attitude, and watch money take care of itself. Make it a rule in everything you do: give people more than they expect to get.

When you help others feel important, you help yourself feel important too.

Family time

I've worked out a schedule that enables me to give attention to my family as well as to my work. From 7.30 to 8.30 every evening, I devote my time to my two young children. I play games with them, read them stories, draw, answer questions - anything they want me to do. After an hour with those kids of mine, they're not only satisfied, but I'm 100 fresher. At 8.30 they trot off to bed, and I settle down to work for 2 hours.

At 10.30 I quit working and spend the next hour with my wife. We talk about the kids, her day at work, our plans for the future. This hour, undisturbed by anything is a wonderful way to cap off the day.

I also reserve Sundays for my family. The whole day is theirs. I find my organised program for giving my family the attention it deserves is good not only for them, but also good for me. It gives me new energy.

Concentrate on the biggest qualities in the person [and don't worry about the little things].. do something special for your mate - and do it often.

Be likeable

Learn to remember names... be a comfortable person so there is no strain in being with you. Be an old-shoe kind of individual.. [Be] relaxed easy-going so that things do not ruffle you. Don't be egotistical. Cultivate the quality of being interesting so people will get something of value from their association with you. Study to get the "scratchy" elements out of your personality, even those which you may be unconscious.. heal misunderstanding. Drain off your grievances. Practice liking people until you learn to do so genuinely. Never miss an opportunity to say a word of congratulation upon anyone's achievement, or express sympathy in sorrow or disappointment.

Like people

No person is all good and no person is all bad.. now if we let our thinking go uncontrolled, we can find much to dislike in almost anyone. By the same token, if we manage our thinking properly.. we can find many qualities to like and admire in the same person. Thoughts breed like thoughts. There is real danger if you listen to negative comments about another person, you too will go negative toward that person. [excuse yourself or change the subject]. [If you have negative thoughts about someone] .. say stop... all you must do is think of one positive quality about the individual. In true chain reaction style, this one thought will lead to another and another. And you will be glad.

Get the Action Habit

Action feeds and strengthens confidence; inaction in all forms feeds fear. To fight fear, act. To increase fear - wait, put off, postpone.. Dread making a certain phone call? Make it, and dread disappears. Put if off, and it will get harder and harder to make.

The test of a successful person is not an ability to eliminate all problems before they arise, but to meet and work out difficulties when they do arise. We must be willing to make an intelligent compromise with perfection lest we wait forever before taking action.

Rather than wait for the spirit to move you, sit down and move your spirit. When you want to think, start writing or doodling or diagramming.

Seize the initiative. Be  a crusader. Pick up the ball and run. Be a volunteer. Show that you have the ability and ambition to do.

Turn Defeat into Victory

Study setbacks to pave your way to success. When you lose, learn and then go on to win next time. Research each setback. 

Remember, there is a good side in every situation. Find it. See the good side, and whip discouragement.

Blend persistence with experimentation. Stay with your goal but don't beat your head against a stone wall. Try new approaches. Experiment.


The quickest way to the end is to retire and do nothing. With nothing to live for, no goals, people waste away fast... No medecine in the world .. is as powerful in bringing about long life as is the desire to do something.

The only way to get full power ... is to do what you want to do... gain energy, enthusiasm, mental zip and even better health.

Get a clear fix on where you want to go. Create an image of yourself 10 years from now.

Set goals to get things done.. Progress is made one step at a time.. [Giving up smoking] An hour is easy; forever is difficult. When the hour is up, the smoker simply renews his resolution not to smoke for another hour. Later.. the period is extended to two hours, later to a day. Eventually the goal is won.

On occasion all of us have woken on a Saturday morning with no plans, no agenda.. On days like that we accomplish next to nothing. We aimlessly drift through the day, glad when it's finally over. But when we face the day with plan, we get things done.

Will this help take me where I want to go? If the answer is no, back off; if yes, press ahead.. Prepare to take detours in your stride.


No matter what you do and regardless of your occupation, higher status, higher pay come from one thing: increasing the quality and quantity of your output.. Think, "I can do better" ..[and] ways to do better will appear.

Giving feedback

First I talk to them privately. Second, I praise them for what they are doing well, Third, I point out the one thing at the moment that they could do better and I help them find the way. Fourth I praise them again on their good points. When they walk out of this office, they have been reminded that they are not only pretty good, they can be even better.


Trade minds with the people you want to influence.. "What would I think of this if I exchanged places with the other person?"

Apply the "be-human" rule.. show that you put other people first.. give other people the kind of treatment you like to receive. Ask yourself, "What is the human way to handle this?" Show interest in your subordinates' off-the-job accomplishments. Treat everyone with dignity. Remind yourself that the primary purpose in life is to enjoy it. [Go beyond the call of duty]. Whoever is under a man's power is under his protection, too.

Ask yourself what kind of club, community, school.. would it be if everyone it in acted like you. Think, talk, act, live the way you want your subordinates to .. and they will. Praise your subordinates to your supervisor by putting in plugs for them at every opportunity.

Push for progress.. think improvement in everything you do. Think high standards in everything you do.

Managed solitude pays off. Spend some time alone every day just for thinking [30min or more].

In the words of Publilius Syrus: A wise man will be master of his mind, a fool will be its slave.

Some great questions to ask yourself

Do I think progressively towards my work? Do I appraise my work with the "how can we do it better?" attitude?

Do I praise my company, the people in it, and the products it sells at every possible opportunity?

Are my personal standards with reference to the quantity and quality of my output higher now than three or six months ago?

Am I setting an excellent example for my subordinates, associates, and others I work with?

Is my family happier today than it was three or six months ago?

Am I following a plan to improve my family's standard of living?

Does my family have an ample variety of stimulating activities outside the home?

Do I set an example of "a progressive", a supporter of progress, for my children?

Can I honestly say I am a more valuable person today than three or six months ago?

Am I following an organised self-improvement program to increase my value to others?

Do I have forward-looking goals for at least five years in the future?

Am I a booster in every organisation or group to which I belong?

Have I done anything in the past six months that I honestly feel has improved my community..?

Do I boost worthwhile community projects rather than object, criticise, or complain?

Have I ever taken the lead in bringing about some worth-while improvement in my community?

Do I speak well of my neighbours and fellow citizens?

Doing a Website Re-design or new look

Having recently being updating the look of RiskAssess, I thought I’d share a few important things to remember.

About 4.5% of people are colour blind. This means a lot of your users! Make sure your site has sufficient contrast in the colour choices. Great tools are available online to help:

Stage the changes as much as possible. Do them incrementally rather than all at once. That way people have time to get used to them, and you have the usual incremental software development benefits like earlier releases with lower risk of bugs.

If you have an established user base, make sure the new design is recognisably connected with the old design, so people don’t feel it’s all changed.

Test on the hardware your users use, and design for it. A design with fancy fonts and subtle colours might look good on a big Retina iMac, but how will it look on old low res LCDs and small netbook/laptop screens?

What are the demographics of your users? If they skew older, then heavier fonts, more contrast etc may be vital for readability.

As always, test on target browsers, screen sizes, mobile, tablet etc to ensure all your users have a good experience.

Ask some of your users for feedback! Yes, really! If you’ve got an established site, you really need to make sure you will be delighting people, not annoying them with a new look. Even if it’s only CSS changes, there’s likely a lot you may not have thought of that your users will spot right away that you’ll want to take on board.

Warn all your users that the change will be happening. Provide screenshots, explain why the new look is better for them, and give everyone the chance to check it out and give feedback and get ready for the change.

Encourage people to give feedback once the new design goes live. Take it on board humbly (even if it hurts), and react quickly to fix any accidental losses of functionality or oversights. Much better if users tell you what they don’t like so you can fix it.

Po: Beyond Yes and No by Edward de Bono (Book Review)

A few months back, I came across Edward de Bono’s book on Po at a local post office second hand book sale. I decided to risk 50c and buy this out of print, 1972 edition book on creativity and lateral thinking. It was worth every cent 🙂

Until you get a fair way into the book, it’s quite hard to work out what it is about. It is also quite wordy, and oddly organised. However, after reading it for a bit, I found it had some interesting ideas.

De Bono is not a big fan of the yes/no system or argument. He proposes that yes/no mindset that people usually use means that somebody has to be right and somebody wrong. With this mindset, an old theory cannot be replaced by a better one until it can be proven wrong by argument. For subjective subjects, this is not often possible. He proposes that when people have a “right” answer, they are happy and stop looking for a better answer, curbing creativity. Similarly, a “wrong” answer stops that train of thought – and perhaps if it had continued, then a good answer might have been found with ideas triggered from the “wrong” answer.

De Bono sets up PO as an alternative to the Yes / No system and talks about it as a way to break down established patterns and introduce discontinuity in thinking to come up with new ideas. He sees it as an alternative to the “clash” of argument and the “arrogance of logic” in the “closed and highly artificial world” of education, that in later life leads to a “need to be right”. He says that this “need to be right” then leads to people “defending not the idea, but your self-esteem” and having high resistance to new ideas and change.

De Bono disputes a common idea that by choosing the best answer in a series of questions or steps leads to the optimal solution at the end. He shows several examples where choosing the most optimal answer for each step leads to a solution which is not optimal.

Arguably the most interesting part of the book describes a number of tools for lateral thinking.

PO-1: Intermediate Impossible
Rather than immediately rejecting an impossible idea, look at it longer for good points. Reconsider your framework of judgment and concept package – maybe idea is right if you consider the situation in a different way. The idea can be a stepping stone to a better idea. When other people come up with a “wrong idea” listen longer and see where it can take you. This approach can be used as a tool – turn the “idea upside down, inside out, back to front” and “say the most unlikely and outrageous thing you can about the situation – and see where it gets you”.

PO-2: Random Juxtaposition
“When you have exhausted the different ways of looking at the problem from within, you bring in” a random word “in order to generate a fresh approach” through juxtaposition and connecting the words. The random word can be from opening a dictionary at random or from a list of “idea provoking” words.

PO-3: Change without rejection, by-passing old concepts to generate alternatives
“That idea is fine, but let us put it on one side and find a new way of looking at things”, “this is one way of looking at things and it is perfectly valid but it does not exclude other ways, so let us try to find some” or “I wonder if there are other ways of looking at this”. “Why do we have to look at things that way”, lets reconsider our starting point and understanding.

The last part I want to mention is the discussion of retardant doubt. De Bono suggests that with a Yes/No, boolean mindset, you require certainty of being right before acting. If you don’t have this certainty, your doubt holds you back. You may even create false certainty so that you can act (leading to problems later since you’ll then defend this false certainty). However, in the Po system, there is no certainty. The premise is only that the “current way of looking at things is the best one at the moment, but may need changing very soon”. This means you can act without certainty – your action might not be right in the absolute sense, but you are ready to “change it as soon as circumstances demand”. With the Po approach you explore a wide range of alternatives, choose the most effective idea for now, but be ready to change it for something even better.

Overall, I enjoyed the book (though skimmed some more repetitive bits) and plan to try out some of the lateral thinking tools. If you want to get the book, a second hand bookshop is probably a good option. It is quite expensive on Amazon.

“Now, Discover your Strengths” and “Strengthfinder”

A while back I bought a copy of Now, Discover your Strengths by Marcus Buckingham and Donald Clifton, and have only just got around to reading it. The book comes with a single-use code that lets you take an online personality test with 180 questions, with the aim of determining your 5 core strengths. The test takes about half an hour and is not onerous.

The book outlines one main idea. Find your natural talents and capitalize on these, building them up into strengths. Shape your work and life in ways that use your natural talents, as this will make you more effective, productive and happy. Although anyone can learn anything, people with a natural talent in an area are going to be able to reach a higher level of capability and success. Mitigate your weaknesses by partnering with people who have complementary strengths, developing a support system to help you, improving your skills in the area just enough to stop them from detracting from your strengths or simply stop doing things that play to your weaknesses.

The core concept of playing to your strengths is covered from many angles in the book and with supporting stories of successful people like Bill Gates and Warren Buffett. There is then a detailed description of each of the strengths that the online personality test can highlight. The last part of the book is interesting and focuses on building organisations which play to people’s strengths, management of people with different strengths and some thoughts on the staff review process in organisations.

Overall, the book was a very quick read with low information density. The online test was fun. You can see my results below. I don’t think it told me anything too new – I already know that I’m pretty analytical, like to learn, focus strongly on achieving tasks etc. The core idea about playing to and building your strengths does seem a good one from the personal satisfaction and cost/benefit point of view (assuming society values the areas you have talents in, and your areas of weakness don’t get in the way too often).

Please note that the following text is Copyright 2000 The Gallup Organization.

Your Analytical theme challenges other people: “Prove it. Show me why what you are claiming is true.” In the face of this kind of questioning some will find that their brilliant theories wither and die. For you, this is precisely the point. You do not necessarily want to destroy other people’s ideas, but you do insist that their theories be sound. You see yourself as objective and dispassionate. You like data because they are value free. They have no agenda. Armed with these data, you search for patterns and connections. You want to understand how certain patterns affect one another. How do they combine? What is their outcome? Does this outcome fit with the theory being offered or the situation being confronted? These are your questions. You peel the layers back until, gradually, the root cause or causes are revealed. Others see you as logical and rigorous. Over time they will come to you in order to expose someone’s “wishful thinking” or “clumsy thinking” to your refining mind. It is hoped that your analysis is never delivered too harshly. Otherwise, others may avoid you when that “wishful thinking” is their own.

You love to learn. The subject matter that interests you most will be determined by your other themes and experiences, but whatever the subject, you will always be drawn to the process of learning. The process, more than the content or the result, is especially exciting for you. You are energized by the steady and deliberate journey from ignorance to competence. The thrill of the first few facts, the early efforts to recite or practice what you have learned, the growing confidence of a skill mastered—this is the process that entices you. Your excitement leads you to engage in adult learning experiences—yoga or piano lessons or graduate classes. It enables you to thrive in dynamic work environments where you are asked to take on short project assignments and are expected to learn a lot about the new subject matter in a short period of time and then move on to the next one. This Learner theme does not necessarily mean that you seek to become the subject matter expert, or that you are striving for the respect that accompanies a professional or academic credential. The outcome of the learning is less significant than the “getting there.”

Command leads you to take charge. Unlike some people, you feel no discomfort with imposing your views on others. On the contrary, once your opinion is formed, you need to share it with others. Once your goal is set, you feel restless until you have aligned others with you. You are not frightened by confrontation; rather, you know that confrontation is the first step toward resolution. Whereas others may avoid facing up to life’s unpleasantness, you feel compelled to present the facts or the truth, no matter how unpleasant it may be. You need things to be clear between people and challenge them to be clear-eyed and honest. You push them to take risks. You may even intimidate them. And while some may resent this, labeling you opinionated, they often willingly hand you the reins. People are drawn toward those who take a stance and ask them to move in a certain direction. Therefore, people will be drawn to you. You have presence. You have Command.

“Where am I headed?” you ask yourself. You ask this question every day. Guided by this theme of Focus, you need a clear destination. Lacking one, your life and your work can quickly become frustrating. And so each year, each month, and even each week you set goals. These goals then serve as your compass, helping you determine priorities and make the necessary corrections to get back on course. Your Focus is powerful because it forces you to filter; you instinctively evaluate whether or not a particular action will help you move toward your goal. Those that don’t are ignored. In the end, then, your Focus forces you to be efficient. Naturally, the flip side of this is that it causes you to become impatient with delays, obstacles, and even tangents, no matter how intriguing they appear to be. This makes you an extremely valuable team member. When others start to wander down other avenues, you bring them back to the main road. Your Focus reminds everyone that if something is not helping you move toward your destination, then it is not important. And if it is not important, then it is not worth your time. You keep everyone on point.

You are inquisitive. You collect things. You might collect information—words, facts, books, and quotations—or you might collect tangible objects such as butterflies, baseball cards, porcelain dolls, or sepia photographs. Whatever you collect, you collect it because it interests you. And yours is the kind of mind that finds so many things interesting. The world is exciting precisely because of its infinite variety and complexity. If you read a great deal, it is not necessarily to refine your theories but, rather, to add more information to your archives. If you like to travel, it is because each new location offers novel artifacts and facts. These can be acquired and then stored away. Why are they worth storing? At the time of storing it is often hard to say exactly when or why you might need them, but who knows when they might become useful? With all those possible uses in mind, you really don’t feel comfortable throwing anything away. So you keep acquiring and compiling and filing stuff away. It’s interesting. It keeps your mind fresh. And perhaps one day some of it will prove valuable.

“Learned Optimism” by Martin Seligman

Learned Optimism: How to Change Your Mind and Your Life is an interesting mix of a psychological treatise and a self-help book. Unlike many self-help books, this book is written by somebody with clear qualifications in the area. The author, Martin Seligman, is a professor of psychology at the University of Pennsylvania and a past president of the American Psychological Association. The concepts in the book were derived from well-designed studies of people and animals and were written up in reputable journals including Science.

The first part of the book focuses on the recent history of psychology and explains Seligman’s research into learned helplessness and his later shift into researching optimism. He describes multiple studies performed and the results, and how they were disputed by proponents of other theories. The most memorable study he describes was designed to show learned helplessness using dogs. The experiment used three dogs. The first was placed in a box that continued to give the dog electric shocks until it pressed a bar. The second dog was placed in a box that continued to give it electric shocks until the first dog pressed the bar in the other box. The third dog sat in a box with no electric shocks. In the final stage of the experiment, all three dogs were placed in boxes which gave electric shocks until the dogs jumped over to the other side of a partition. Across a large number of repetitions, the common behaviour was that the first dog quickly jumped over the partition and escaped the shock. The second dog (with learned helplessness) just lay on the bottom of the box being shocked. The third dog (the control) jumped over the partition and escaped as well. Similar experiments were performed with people and annoying sounds with similar results. Seligman also found that a small proportion of people and dogs did not give up and seemed immune to learned hopelessness. This later became the focus of his research into optimism.

An interesting observation made in the book is that previously, people used to have faith and trust in their community, church, country and government and this provided support in times of personal failure. However, in recent times, these supports are no longer present or as strong for many people. With rising work hours etc, community and neighbours are much less important than they were previously. Religion has declined and many people do not go to church in the western world. Governments have been caught out in lies and corruption (eg, Nixon, Howard). Faith in country has been eroded by globalisation and wars like Vietnam and Iraq. Simultaneously, marketing and consumer culture has focussed on elevating the importance of the self, personal choice and success. In this environment, where self is all important, and the supports of previous generations no longer apply, personal failure is far more debilitating and depressing than it has ever been before.

Later in the book, Seligman explains that everyone, when they have a set back or failure, are stopped in their tracks at least briefly. However, optimists recover faster and are able to act again sooner due to the way they explain the failure to themselves. When something bad happens to an optimist, they expect that the bad thing will be short lived (temporary), was caused by someone else (external) and only affects a partial area of their life (specific). Pessimists are the opposite. They expect bad things to go on for ever (permanent), were caused by them (personal) and will affect their whole life (pervasive). The opposite applies for each cognitive style as well – optimists see good things as permanent, personal and pervasive. Pessimists see good things as temporary, external and specific. Seligman also mentions that turning a thought over and over in one’s mind (rumination), with a pessimistic explanatory style leads to a magnification of the negative impact of the thought (often a factor in depression).

There are also a number of psychological tests in the book that aim to measure optimism. Variations on these were used successfully for selection of sales people who had to make cold calls at a large insurance company (MET Life). A high level of optimism meant that the sales people were able to keep on going despite multiple rejections.

In the last section of the book, Seligman talks about ways to dispute one’s internal dialogue and explain the set backs in life in less self-damaging ways (ie, temporary, external and specific). He suggests that your internal voice should not necessarily be given any more credence than an external voice as it can often be biased. He recommends disputing internal dialog with evidence, offering alternate explanations and analysing the implications. His other suggestion is to postpone thinking about the problem by distraction or writing it down and setting a time to think on it further.

Seligman finishes by discussing when optimism or pessimism is most appropriate. His theory is that optimism is generally a beneficial outlook as it allows one to be proactive and productive in the face of failure, to lead and to inspire and encourage others. However, his studies showed that mild pessimists had a more realistic world view than optimists. Hence in life critical situations, certain types of advisory and assurance roles, mild pessimism and the resulting realism was a better mindset to employ.

Overall, there are a lot of interesting ideas in the book. After reading it, I now think a lot more about my internal dialogue and pay more attention to the way I explain good and bad events to myself. I did find that the last part of the book about “Changing from Pessimism to Optimism” was a bit repetitive as it covers the same ground multiple times with emphasis on different areas such as relationships, work and teaching children. Although I found the historical information and descriptions of studies well written, convincing and interesting, I would have preferred a few less in the interests of concision. These small complaints aside, I would highly recommend reading this book, especially if you find yourself ruminating often on the difficulties in your life rather than enjoying the good parts and taking action.

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